There are things only a crash survivor can tell you. Let’s face it. Trauma Doctors may have the medical knowledge to treat you immediately after your motor vehicle crash and although I was well looked after as a patient in a trauma hospital, what about all the repercussions in your life once you get home? Although none of us have a crystal ball to see what’s on the horizon, every recovery from a motor vehicle crash is unique. Here at 15 things that only a crash survivor can tell you.
- A Motor Vehicle Crash Doesn’t Care – It doesn’t care if you were totally healthy before your crash. It doesn’t care how old you are. It doesn’t care if you are rich or poor. It doesn’t matter if you were not doing anything wrong on the road. None of that matters. Anyone can be involved in a motor vehicle crash at any given time.
- You No Longer Get A Good Night’s Sleep – Certain medications can greatly impact your ability to fall and stay asleep. You may be in pain and physically exhausted. Sleep deprivation in most people means grumpiness, brain fog and impaired motor function. It’s a vicious cycle. The more you can’t sleep, the more you worry about it and the worse it gets. Perhaps there is some comfort, however, in knowing that you are not alone.
- You Find Out Who Your Real Friends Are – Crash survivors lose a lot of friends. You will need to stay balanced. Pay close attention to the important things in your life. Always remember that we rarely lose friends, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are. You will train yourself to take nothing personally.
- You Know Your Body Better Than Anyone Else – We deserve acknowledgment that we know our bodies better than anyone and we deserve to be listened to. It is so important that you become your own advocate.
- There Are Gut-Wrenching Side-Effects – During recovery, you may feel so weak and powerless that sometimes there’s nothing you can do but curl up in bed and cry. Stay connected. As a crash survivor it is easy to isolate yourself. Stay connected to those who support your emotional and physical health. Seek out a support group.
- You Will Get Attached To Your Doctors And Nurses – They become close friends, a second family. After all, they’re working with you to try and put your body and mind back to the shape it was before your crash.
- You Get “Crash Perks” – Yes believe it or not there are crash perks. Starting with the magnificent “handicap parking pass” that most of us will request when we are not mobile enough to walk long distances as we arrive for our endless follow up appointments at hospitals and clinics. You will realize that to go through something this hard, this awful & this challenging, it will be this same obstacle that will actually push you in a positive direction. You will have more tolerance and empathy. You will say “yes” to what matters and “no” to what doesn’t.
- You Get To Be An Expert In Patience And Perseverance – One of the things only a crash survivor can tell you is between all of the medical appointments and dealing with the insurance and legal issues, you manage to keep fighting because you have no choice. It will test your patience, don’t let it win.
- You Will Feel Losses – You will miss opportunities. You will feel limited. You will feel stagnant and overwhelmed. You will miss out on things you want to do or people you may want to see. Just remember that it isn’t your fault. Your life isn’t over. It’s just on hold. And while your life may never be the same again, you’ll learn how to adjust to your “new normal.” Things aren’t over for you.
- Absolutely Nothing Will Prepare You – It’s one the hardest journeys you will ever have to overcome. It will change your life physically and mentally. Stay positive – Never give up on your dreams and be kind to yourself. When no one is clapping for you, you must clap for yourself. You should always be your biggest fan.
- You Will Have A Greater Appreciation For Life – I believe the hardest part of healing is to recover the “you” that left with the crash. It’s a long, tough, grueling journey, but the fight is worth every second. Think of it as two chapters. The first chapter was the loss and the second chapter will be the remaking of your life.
- You Will Be Aware Of Increased Strength – Stay determined in this fight. The daily struggles are real but you must remain strong. When all is said and done, you will look back and thank yourself for never giving up.
- You Will Find Joy in Music – When you are a crash survivor recovering from this life-changing event, music is often a refuge. Melodies and lyrics have a way of calming us. Whether it’s to help us escape, feel understood or to relate through shared experiences, music is pure and it’s real. It moves, it heals, it communicates and does so many incredible things for us. Talented young country singer-songwriter and award-winning recording artist, Lisa Mary who is also a crash survivor recently released her new song “Dive” with hopes of encouraging other crash survivors. Her song shares much needed positivity and encouragement that every crash survivor needs to hear.
- You Will Start a Journal – If you have never kept a journal before… you will now! You may choose to write about your emotional responses that you are experiencing or you may write about appointments that have happened throughout the day. Writing a journal can help you not only cope with the stress that you will be feeling but it is also a great way to process what you are feeling and perhaps even explore positive outcomes.
- “You Look Fine” – Unfortunately you will hear this time and time again throughout your recovery. Welcome to the “life goes on” chapter of your recovery. Your loved ones, friends and quite possibly even doctors may question the severity of your injuries because you look fine to them. Only “you” will be aware of how you feel physically and mentally. I can’t stress it enough that you need to become your own advocate and you should never feel rushed in recovering.
It can feel lonely during your recovery and at first you may wonder how you will cope. I know this transformation is painful but you are not alone and you can find strength in sharing feelings with others who understand what you’re going through. We encourage you to join the Crash Support Network Group which is an online support group for survivors of motor vehicle crashes. Join over 1000+ members where we will not only support you but we will also inspire and motivate you through your daily struggles. Not looking for a group environment? That’s okay! We recommend that you “follow us” on our Crash Support Network Page where you will find daily up-to-date articles that are informative and useful to crash survivors.
Is your loved one or friend a survivor of a motor vehicle crash? Tell them about the Crash Support Network or better yet, share this blog with your friends. You never know if someone is feeling alone right now as they try to recover from a motor vehicle crash.
S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever. Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories. Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.
The Crash Support Network is a unique one-of-a-kind website consisting of an online support group, a crash survivor blog, a quarterly newsletter, “Sharing Our Recovery” as well as highly informative articles. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.
