The Captain and the Kid
When someone gets hurt, immediate thoughts go to the person directly affected. Secondly, to family and close friends, knowing they need support and assistance. Not sure that anyone thinks about the dog. Her name was Indie, a sweet, kind, and gentle yellow lab. Indie loved my wife and the boys, but she was my girl…
When I first arrived at Sunnybrook Trauma, they cut away my blood-soaked clothes and packed them in a garbage bag. Dealing with a bag of bloody clothes wasn’t a priority for my wife, she left the bag on the garage floor for another time. Indie came across the bag in the garage, sniffed it up and down, then laid down and cried. They say dog’s noses tell them a story, and Indie did not like the story she was being told.
She stopped eating. Her fur fell out by the handful. She was in mourning.
When she was finally able to come visit me, she was initially cold and distant – in hindsight, she was seeing a ghost. Once she processed what was going on, she was pure joy. She started eating again, her fur grew back. Once I returned home, she took on the role of my protector. Indie passed away last fall after a brief illness – the only thing that pried her from my side in almost 3 years.
I graduated from Sunnybrook ICU to Ward B5. Then from B5 to C5. Then, it was time to go to St. John’s Rehab, part of the Sunnybrook network. The patient population at St. John’s is diverse – an assortment of misfit toys divided by injury type. Most trauma patients start on the second floor. It was there that I learned the first of what I called my ‘rehab tenets’.
Still prone on a gurney, I was rolled into the therapy room. Billy was a young man recovering from severe burns to most of his upper body. And he was a chatterbox, spending more time talking to everyone than doing his own therapy. He was tall and skinny, and with his arms propped out from his side (to allow skin to heal) he looked as though he might join The Tin Man and The Cowardly Lion in search of The Wizard… Billy immediately engaged me, explaining that everything was going to be ok – not to worry. He introduced me to everyone, made me feel a little more comfortable, a little less anxious. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had just learned my first tenet.
There’s always someone who’s got it tougher than you
Billy was in unimaginable pain. He was facing months of therapy and years of dealing with disfiguring injuries, yet here he was trying to make my transition less difficult. His selflessness inspired me to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it.
I continued to progress, albeit slowly, and sometimes it felt like I was never going to get there. On one of those difficult days, I happened to be sat with my sons in the St. John’s cafeteria enjoying a coffee. One of St. John’s custodians informed me I had another visitor.
I turned to see a face I recognized, but I could not believe.
My love of the Toronto Maple Leafs began at a very young age. Lanny McDonald, Borje Salming, Mike Palmateer – and of course, ‘The Captain’. Darryl Sittler was a complete hockey player – goals, assists, forecheck, backcheck – what they call a ‘200-foot player’. And he embodied what it meant to be Captain – he had the backs of his boys both on and off the ice, never afraid to drop the gloves in the corner, or in a boardroom, or in front of the press. And thanks to a good friend of mine…
He came to visit me.
Darryl Sittler. The Captain.
One of the greatest to ever wear the blue and white came to visit me.
He sat with us, told stories, signed autographs, and playfully flirted with the older nurses. I was 9 years old all over again, in awe. My friends and family carried me through this journey, but a visit from The Captain… wow. Unforgettable.
Most rooms at St. John’s hold 2 or 4 patients, so I had roommates. Some were far more injured than I, others less so. Some were harassed by unsympathetic employers, while others tried to heal under a cloud of financial strain. Some were great distances from their home and loved ones. Others didn’t have homes or loved ones. Some would never forget the harm they had caused; some would never remember their own name. I could not have had more support, and rehab was still one of the most challenging times of my life. This was my second tenet.
It could have been much worse
Things progressed, and soon I was moved to the first floor with the rest of the ‘amps’ – another important milestone. Like they advised, I took everything one day at a time, but I needed a plan. The people in charge of my care were happy with the progress and the pace, but patience has never been my strong suit. It was time for a meeting. ‘Team Lawlor’ gathered around one table – I shared my intention to be home for Christmas. That was it – that was my ‘moonshot’ (borrowed from Kennedy’s 1962 Address at Rice University – “we choose to go to the moon, by the end of the decade…”).
Papers shuffled, eyes darted, seemingly knowing glances were exchanged. The team clearly felt my plan was a tad optimistic. They gently nudged me toward a more reasonable position, but I was undeterred. I had a goal, I had a deadline, and I had my third rehab tenet.
A goal without a deadline is just a wish
I had a lot of work to do in the physio room, we needed to sell our old house, buy a new house, and make that house accessible.
We needed help.
To be continued…
Submitted by Andrew Lawlor
Andrew Lawlor is a motorcycle crash survivor. Since July, 2018 he has drawn on the love and support of his family and his community, working to repair body, mind and soul. Andrew knows everyone’s journey is unique, and hopes that fellow survivors might find a new perspective, or encouragement in the stories he tells. The Crash Support Network is thrilled to announce a collaboration with Andrew as he shares his journey through ongoing contributions to our Crash Survivor Blog.
The Crash Support Network is a unique one-of-a-kind website consisting of an online support group, a crash survivor blog, a quarterly newsletter, “Sharing Our Recovery” as well as highly informative articles. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.
