Why Having a Power of Attorney (POA) is So Important
Life doesn’t give us warnings. One moment you’re driving to work or running errands, and the next, you’re in a trauma hospital —unconscious, seriously injured, and unable to make decisions for yourself. Now imagine your family members disagreeing about what should happen next. Who can speak for you, who can access your money, and what medical choices should be made. Or picture an aging parent rapidly deteriorating with dementia. At first, it might just be forgotten appointments or not remembering what day it is. Eventually, they can’t understand legal documents, recognize family members, make safe decisions and a physician pulls their driver’s license. But by that point, it’s too late for them to legally assign someone they trust to take over.
Whether it’s a sudden motor vehicle crash, a rapid decline from dementia or a severe brain injury, losing the ability to make decisions for yourself is not just a possibility, it’s a reality many families face. That’s why having a Power of Attorney (POA) in place isn’t just a legal formality, it’s a vital part of protecting your dignity, your wishes, and your well-being.
What a Power of Attorney Actually Does
A POA is a legal document that gives someone the right to make decisions on behalf of yourself if you become unable to do so. There are two types:
- Medical POA: Appoints someone to make medical decisions based on your wishes.
- Financial POA: Allows someone to handle your finances—paying bills, managing property, and making legal decisions.
Imagine being in a situation where you can’t speak for yourself. You are on life support, confined to a wheelchair in a rehabilitation centre after being involved in a motor vehicle crash or recovering from a stroke that’s left you unable to communicate clearly. In those moments, you want someone you trust making the right decisions for your care. That’s where a Medical Power of Attorney (POA) comes in.
A Medical POA is a legal document that allows you to appoint someone. A spouse, family member, or close friend to make medical decisions for you if you become unable to do so. This person will speak on your behalf, ensuring that doctors and caregivers follow your wishes. Whether it’s choosing the type of treatment you receive, deciding on life-sustaining measures, or managing long-term rehabilitation, your attorney will be your voice when you need it most. This is about more than paperwork. It’s about peace of mind. By creating a Medical POA, you’re protecting your dignity, ensuring your values are respected, and giving your loved ones the guidance they need during a difficult time.
Your Financial Life Needs to Stay on Track
Now imagine not being able to access your bank account, pay your rent, or cover your hospital bills. You’re aware of what needs to be done, but physically or mentally, you just can’t manage it. Who steps in to help? That’s where a Power of Attorney (POA) for Property becomes essential. This legal document lets you choose someone you trust to step in and manage your financial affairs if you become unable to. Whether it’s paying your mortgage, settling hospital bills, or managing day-to-day expenses, your appointed person makes sure you’re looked after the way you should be. They’re not just handling money. They’re making sure you continue to receive the care you need, with your finances working for you, not against you. They’ll protect your home, your accounts, and your peace of mind just as you would if you could. Setting up a POA for Property while you’re healthy and capable ensures that your decisions, your wishes, and your well-being remain in trusted hands.
A POA for Property allows you to legally appoint someone you trust such as a spouse, family member, or friend to take care of your financial matters if you become unable to do so yourself. They can pay bills, manage your accounts, file taxes, handle real estate, and make sure your financial life stays on track. These documents only work if they’re created before a person becomes incapacitated. Once someone is deemed mentally incompetent, it’s often too late to assign a POA without court involvement.
Choose Your POA Wisely
This is where things get personal. Just because someone is a spouse, an oldest child, or a sibling doesn’t automatically make them the right choice. Lots of families believe that POA’s should be assigned to the smartest or most experienced person, however sometimes that could turn out to be the wrong decision. You want to pick a person that will follow every wish that you have made before you were deemed incapable. It’s important to choose someone you trust implicitly. Someone who will act with integrity and never use their role for their own benefit. Don’t choose your POA based on tradition or guilt. Choose someone who understands your values, respects your boundaries, and can handle pressure. Most importantly, choose someone strong enough to deal with potential family pushback.
Ask yourself:
- Will this person carry out my wishes without wavering?
- Can they stay calm and assertive if other family members challenge them?
- Do they have integrity and emotional resilience?
Because sadly, even doing the right thing can turn your POA into a target when others feel excluded.
When Family Conflict Makes Everything Worse
There is a difficult truth attached to planning ahead: families don’t always unite in a crisis. Some people assume they should automatically be in charge, and when they find out they’re not, they can become angry, bitter, and even disruptive. The person you did appoint as POA may suddenly find themselves being questioned, criticized, or outright attacked by others. Even if your wishes are clearly documented, family members can still cause serious emotional strain and confusion. They may:
- Undermine the POA’s decisions.
- Accuse them of “acting selfishly.”
- Stir conflict with doctors, caregivers, or legal professionals.
- Make life intolerable for the person doing exactly what you asked of them.
This kind of manipulation can:
- Undermine the authority of your POA.
- Interfere with your care.
- Create unnecessary conflict with staff.
- Damage your dignity in your final days.
Appointing a Power of Attorney (POA) is meant to safeguard your rights, dignity, and personal wishes—not create a toxic or hostile environment. It’s a role of trust and responsibility, not control or conflict.
A Crash or Illness – Be Prepared for the Unexpected
A serious motor vehicle crash, a stroke or an elderly parent slipping into dementia can be terrifying for anyone. A POA gives you a voice when you can’t speak and gives someone you trust the legal power to protect your health, finances, and dignity. But waiting until a crisis hits is waiting too long. You don’t need to be sick, injured or elderly to prepare a POA. You just need to be proactive.
These are all situations where a person may no longer be able to communicate or make sound decisions. If there’s no POA in place, things can get complicated and fast. Medical staff may not know who to listen to. Bills may go unpaid. Worse, family members may argue, pressure doctors, or try to seize control. Without legal documents, your intentions can be ignored even by those closest to you.
When Family Conflict Turns Personal
We’ve all heard it or lived it: “I’m the most responsible.” “I live closer.” “They told me what they wanted.” “You can’t be in charge – you don’t know that you are doing”. These assumptions lead to confusion, resentment, and often utter chaos. The truth is simple: no one has authority unless it’s legal. A family member may think they have the right to make decisions, but unless they’ve been appointed POA, they don’t no matter how close they were to the person in question or what they may have been promised.
And the reverse is true as well. Being the POA does not give someone the right to completely shut other family members out but yet it happens all the time.
- One family member keeps others from visiting or calling you.
- Repeated calls get ignored.
- Access to updates about your condition is restricted.
- Decisions are made in secret, creating distrust and tension.
This is especially painful when family members weaponize the POA role to control, isolate, or exclude others. And even more painful when the excluded family members are trying to help or stay connected. And if you’re the one stepping into a POA role, be prepared. Know that your job might not be easy but if your loved one’s wishes are legally protected, you’re doing the right thing even when others try to make you feel otherwise. Sadly, family members can cheat, lie, and manipulate and they often do when money, power, or unresolved family dynamics are involved.
Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late
We never expect the worst to happen. But when it does, it’s too late to go back and prepare. And when they happen, they often bring out both the best and the worst in people. Whether you’re concerned about your own future, or you’re watching a loved one show signs of cognitive decline or a family member suffered a severe brain injury, having a POA ready is one of the most compassionate and responsible things you can do. Preparing a POA isn’t just about legal protection—it’s about peace of mind. Talk about it. Put it in writing. And choose someone who has the backbone to carry out your wishes even when it’s hard.
In the chaos following a serious motor vehicle crash, your loved ones should be focused on your recovery, not fighting over who gets to decide what happens to you. Your Power of Attorney (POA) or executor is legally and morally obligated to carry out what you wanted — not what they or your family members think is “best”. By naming a POA in advance, you remove uncertainty, reduce conflict, and ensure your life stays in your hands even when you can’t speak for yourself. Don’t wait for a “what if.” Serious injuries don’t come with warnings, but preparation can make all the difference. Don’t leave your voice unheard and let others decide what’s best for you.
Get Your Affairs in Order
At the Crash Support Network, we often hear from survivors that one of the first things they did after their crash was get their affairs in order. For many, it took a sudden and life-changing event to realize how important that step was. But you don’t have to wait. Whether it’s a crash, a serious illness, or another unexpected event, having a plan in place can ease a lot of stress for you and your loved ones. One of the most important steps? Talk to your Power of Attorney (POA). Let them know in advance that they’re in charge, let them know where the original POA is or ask them to put it in a safe place and make sure they understand your wishes.
Take action now while you still can. It’s a simple act that can prevent confusion, reduce conflict, and give everyone peace of mind.
S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever. Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories. Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.
The Crash Support Network is a unique one-of-a-kind website consisting of an online support group, a crash survivor blog, a quarterly newsletter, “Sharing Our Recovery” as well as highly informative articles. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.
