Thirteen years ago, my life changed in an instant due to a distracted driver. One moment I was driving to work and the next, I was living a reality I never could’ve imagined. The crash didn’t just break bones, metal and glass; it broke routines, confidence, and, for a long while, my sense of normalcy. It’s been 13 years since that day, and while I’ve come a long way, the journey never truly ends. Healing isn’t a finish line. It’s an ongoing process of acceptance, resilience, and rediscovery. In the beginning, I thought recovery was all about getting back to who I used to be. But over time, I realized the truth: you don’t “go back.” You grow forward. You become someone new who is stronger, more compassionate, more aware of life’s fragility and its strength.
13 Things I’ve Learned
Today, I mark my 13-year Crashiversary which is not as a celebration of the crash, but a reminder of survival, growth, and everything I’ve learned along the way. When something that traumatic happens, you don’t just recover, you rebuild. The long road to healing that followed was unimaginable. I learnt to live differently, think differently, and value things I once took for granted. Recovery doesn’t come with a manual. It’s messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. But over the past 13 years, I’ve learned lessons that continue to shape how I live and help others. As the Founder of the Crash Support Network, our community has been built for survivors and their loved ones to share, support, and heal together. Here are 13 things I’ve learned on this long road to recovery.
Healing isn’t linear
Some days you’ll feel strong, other days you’ll struggle. Don’t measure progress by perfection. Measure it by persistence.
It’s okay to grieve your “before”
You’re allowed to miss the person you were before the motor vehicle crash. Healing includes mourning what was lost and learning to love who you are now.
Small wins count
Walking a little farther, sleeping a little better, driving again. Always celebrate every bit of progress, no matter how small.
You don’t have to be “okay” all the time
Recovery brings good days and hard ones. Give yourself permission to rest and reset.
Mental health matters as much as physical recovery
Anxiety, fear, and trauma are real and they deserve care, too. Talk to someone who understands, whether it’s a counselor or another survivor.
Surround yourself with understanding people
Support from family, friends, and other crash survivors can make all the difference. That’s why I created the Crash Support Network so no one has to heal alone.
Be patient with your body
It’s easy to get frustrated with limitations, but your body is working hard for you. Celebrate what it can do.
Don’t compare your recovery to others
Every injury, every body and every story is different. Healing doesn’t have a universal timeline.
Learn to ask for help
Asking for help is not weakness — it’s wisdom. Whether you need emotional support or help with daily tasks, letting people help is beneficial to healing.
Find something that gives you purpose
Purpose transforms pain. For me, creating the Crash Support Network gave meaning to my experience and allowed me to help others find hope.
Share your story
Sharing your experience can help others feel seen and understood and it can help you heal, too.
Accept that healing can change you — for the better
You may become more patient, empathetic, or driven. Growth often comes from the hardest chapters.
Celebrate your survival
Every year, every milestone, every day you keep going is something to be proud of. You’re proof that life after trauma is possible.
There is Hope After Hardship
Every year, my Crashiversary reminds me that healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were. It means moving forward with everything you’ve become. If you’re still recovering, please know this: You’re not alone. There’s strength in survival and there’s hope after hardship.
Hang in There, Little Tuffy
Thirteen years ago, I was in an ambulance, racing to a trauma hospital, terrified and alone. If I could whisper one thing to that version of me, I’d say: “Hang in there, little Tuffy… you will not be alone.” Looking back, those words are more than comfort, they are a promise. Life has tested me in ways I couldn’t imagine, but I’ve learned that even in the darkest moments, resilience grows quietly. The journey has not been easy and to anyone facing their own chaos: hold on. Your story isn’t finished.
The Crash Support Network is dedicated to helping others navigate life after a motor vehicle crash through recovery and road safety awareness. We remain committed to turning personal experience into a source of guidance, hope, and connection. With quarterly newsletters, Crash Connections, and a growing resource platform, we continue to support people worldwide and there’s so much more to come.
S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever. Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories. She is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.
Good Evening:
I came across your post because I was looking for a car accident survivor group. For quite some time I have been having this restless need to share my story as the survivor of a car accident where I almost lost my life when a mentally ill person decided to commit suicide by hitting me head-on at 95 mph. He died a few minutes after the accident. I broke many bones and had a brain injury. I was within 60 minutes of expiring, but I firmly believe that God, in his infinite love and mercy kept me here. It will be 5 years on January 14, 2026 and as I read your story I felt even more inspired. It never occurred to me to attend any support group or any mental/emotional therapy. I don’t speak about my experience often because I am very private and I don’t like to draw attention to myself, but whenever people find out, they ALWAYS tell me that I should talk about my story more. Finally the light bulb in my head went on and I thought that the way to start was by finding out support groups in my area. I have found some and I will be calling to find out how I can help others. Thank you for your story.
Hi Karol. Thank you so much for sharing your story. We are truly glad you survived and are finding the strength to reach out and help others. Your courage and willingness to turn pain into purpose are deeply inspiring. We are so glad you found us!