Many supportive and inspirational conversations take place in our online support group on a daily basis. What started out as a place to find solace has turned into quite a forum with 1200 + members. Recently a courageous member of our online support group posted her story and as I read it, I literally felt chills up my spine. A lot of crash survivors including myself can personally relate what this survivor is going through on so many levels and it’s heartbreaking when your career comes to a halt at no choice of your own. With the member’s permission, I want to share part of her story with you.
A woman from Holton, Indiana recently posted: August 31st was the third anniversary of my wreck. I tried not to make a big deal about it. I don’t want to give the fear more power than it’s already taken. I am lucky. I have cervical spine damage between C4-C7, compressed disc, I think. Cervicogenic headaches daily. Pinched nerves that keep my arms and hands sore but numbed. Swollen shoulder and neck. A bum knee and ankle. Most significant is damage to my frontal lobe, causing what my neuropsych likens to early Alzheimer’s. That and PTSD. But, I survived. No surgeries yet. Just pain and a lost mind. I am grateful.
Broken And Broke
Thing is, I am a registered nurse. I have to surrender my license this year. I haven’t worked in over a year, but giving it up is hard. I worked so hard to be a great nurse. I worked as a director of nursing at nursing homes, specializing in Alzheimer’s, Dementia and behaviors. I loved my job. Loved my patients. I was built to be what I was. I left when I figured out things weren’t the same….that took a while. I don’t want to put anyone at risk because of my broken brain. And, I miss it a lot.
So, I stay home. Broken and broke with nothing but thoughts. I have lost all of my social network. My kids don’t come around much. Just my supportive boyfriend and my dog fills my days. Again, I am grateful. I am having a very hard time lately. I should be so much more thankful instead of feeling sorry for myself. This is just something I cannot fix. Every day is a surprise of what will hurt or what will not work. I am waiting on mediation with attorneys, but that won’t bring my joy back. I guess I’m feeling like the differences that I made in my career were the last times I would be helpful. I wish I had known that day…I would have done so much more. No one understands or wants to listen and I don’t feel like a survivor. The person I was – didn’t survive. Some other person walked out of that vehicle and I’m still getting to know her.
Survivors Continue to Lean On Each Other
When her post was published in the Crash Support Network Group, it took less than 5 minutes for members to reach out to her to send her positive thoughts and strength. Once again, seeing crash survivors lean on each other in such an empathetic way left me speechless. This member felt powerless and our crash family stepped up. Her response was touching. “Thank you. I am glad I found you. Just knowing this group is here is comforting even if we don’t say anything. It feels so isolating….but on here, it is not. I am happy this site exists. But so very sad that it has to.”
Motor vehicle crashes have devastating consequences and can be life-changing. Survivors of motor vehicle crashes are some of the strongest, most amazing and brave individuals. Some of us are left to face long roads to recovery and many survivors spend the rest of their lives trying to regain what they lost because of the injuries from their crash. This crash survivor has been fighting every day for the last three years and we are so happy that she found us where we will continue to support her. Although she may feel helpless, she allowed us to share her story and that is not only courageous but it’s also incredibly valuable to any crash survivor that may also be feeling powerless. One must never think that what you have to offer is insignificant. There will always be a crash survivor out there who needs what you have to give them and we thank this survivor for allowing us to share her life-changing struggles.
Survivors need to be aware that supportive and inspirational conversations are taking place within the Crash Support Network Group and survivors need to know they are not alone. Is your loved one a survivor of a crash or do you know someone that is struggling as they try to recover from a crash? Please tell them about the Crash Support Network or share this blog with your friends through social media. You may not realize it, but you could help a crash survivor that may be feeling very much alone and isolated right now.
S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever. Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories. Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.
