This pandemic reveals who we truly are and my emotions have been running rampant for the last several months.  I am tired of being cooped up, tired of being careful, tired of being scared and tired of not knowing when life will get back to normal.  Coincidentally, I am experiencing all the same feelings that I had when I was discharged from a trauma hospital after surviving a horrific motor vehicle crash.

The world as we knew it has indeed changed since this pandemic. Angry tweeters are gleefully getting high on mass justification and are thrilled at the ability to broadcast all of their angry thoughts instantaneously to masses of people.  People are becoming angry at defending themselves and if they do not agree with something you have said, you are instantly dropped and/or blocked on social media.  I have witnessed many professionals that I respect, vent their frustrations on social media about their distaste in their clients or colleagues.  I have also read on more than one occasion, never-ending toxic conversations continuing for days on social media before these conversations are even shut down and I have stopped watching the media all together just as many others have.

Some Are Carrying on Like Nothing is Happening

It hasn’t been easy on me just as it hasn’t been easy on you. We were in the United States in early March and decided to cut our trip short and come back to Ontario.  When we arrived back, we did our due diligence by self isolating for 14 days.  By our own choice, we have also continued to social distance ourselves ever since.  Once the weather started to warm up in May, I have continuously watched our neighbors have their family over every weekend and I have also watched friends (some professional) continue to have dinner parties, gather for drinks and carry on like nothing was even going on.  Although it is their decision to continue seeing their families or friends, I will admit that it has shaken me quite a bit as this pandemic reveals who we truly are.

I continue to observe an abundance of selfishness on a daily basis and my anxiety levels have been sky-rocketing.  I have recently noticed that these same people that never quite social distanced themselves are now interacting with people from outside of their families.  Although it doesn’t affect me personally, I have found myself so overwhelmed with worry for them that I constantly have to remind myself that I can only control the things I can and I cannot change the situation but I can adjust my thinking.  My mental health is just as important as my physical health right now and I just need to look after myself.  This is a necessity!

Listen, Acknowledge & Be Kind

As I recover from my crash, I have learnt that in order to be heard, you must voice your concerns and that you should never assume that people understand what you may be feeling.  On several occasions, I have spoken up and stated how hard this pandemic has been on me.  Shockingly, I have been pushed back on more than one occasion by different people who instantly re-directed it back on themselves and explain to me how hard all of this has been on them.  FULL STOP –  When someone shares how they are feeling, the worst thing you can ever do is re-direct how you are feeling.  It’s not only selfish but it makes us feel that our feelings are not justified.  When someone shares their feelings, please listen to what they are trying to tell you.  This is not a competition. When someone shares their feelings – please listen, acknowledge, show compassion and most of all be kind.

When you reach a point of frustration just as I have been, try to take a step back, take a breath, remove yourself from that frustration point and reappraise before you act.  A wise young girl who I love very much, recently gave me some great advice to which I was so thankful as she also struggles with anxiety.  She told me to “recognize your triggers, pause and reflect.”  Although I had been practicing this with triggers caused by my motor vehicle crash that I was familiar with, I didn’t recognize that more unexpected triggers had recently been added to my list.  Post-traumatic stress disorder is a serious condition that most crash survivors suffer from so it is important to recognize each and every trigger.

My crash shook me to my core and made me realize that the most important relationship I can have is the one with myself.  As we continue to face these challenging times with this pandemic, we must look after ourselves and take necessary precautions.  Cutting people in your circle or on social media does not mean you hate them, it simply means, you respect yourself.  As we continue to rise and push through these challenging times, please know that I understand how difficult this has been on you and you are not alone.

S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever.  Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories.  Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.

The Crash Support Network is a unique one-of-a-kind website consisting of an online support group, a crash survivor blog, a quarterly newsletter, “Sharing Our Recovery” as well as highly informative articles. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.