Life-changing crash leaves survivor wondering if she could have had a normal life. September 29, 2018 started out as an ordinary day, but ended in a tragedy of twisted metal and pain. I met my boyfriend a few months earlier so the relationship was new; still in that exciting stage of discovery. I went to his house that night to eat dinner and watch a movie. I was on my way home just after eleven p.m. when a drunk driver crashed into me. In that instant, everything in my life changed. That impaired driver not only changed my life, but the lives of my children. The crash happened just three and a half minutes after I left his home. What if I had stayed three and a half minutes longer or left three and a half minutes earlier?
I’ve often thought about how things could be different; I could be living a pain-free life and have full range of motion of my body parts and working back at my job – I could have had a normal life.
Life-changing Crash Involved Tremendous Loss
It has been almost three years since I was cut out of my vehicle and airlifted to the ICU of a major trauma center. Since then, I have had countless surgeries, some I remember but most I do not. I have also lost several relationships, including my boyfriend and my parents, due to the stress and trauma of the impaired driver’s selfish decision to drive drunk. I had been divorced for 12 years and my divorce attorney recommended a will and power of attorney. I had never imagined that it would be used. My parents and my sister were listed and my parents were in charge of making life and death decisions regarding my care. This time was very difficult for my family. My parents also went to court because my ex-husband filed a motion to suspend child support for our daughter which was very stressful for them.
I may appear like most women my age but the pain and difficulties from my injuries are always there. Due to the rate of speed and the type of impact my body will never be the same. The trauma surgeons saved my life that night by putting me back together with hardware in my neck, femur, tibia, foot, and ribs. The impact also caused one of my eyes to cross which left me with a visual impairment. Having worked as an optical technician for over 10 years this news was devastating for me, I still remember opening my eyes and feeling utter panic. With limited range of motion in my neck driving would be challenging.
Lessons Learned with Tragedy
I’ve had to depend on lane assist in my new vehicle as well as special mirrors, I also suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from the crash which makes it difficult when I am riding in the passenger seat. I have learned from this tragedy that there are good people in life that want to help.
I found a bigger purpose by sharing my story with MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) to help other survivors and Law Enforcement. There’s a great reward for making my pain into something that might help others.
Lastly, I have learned to be grateful for the good days and allow myself grace when my body is in severe pain and I can’t do the things I want or need to do. I found we are all connected through painful times and I’ve found ways to look for my blessings in this burden.
Submitted by Stephanie, North Carolina
We encourage you to follow Stephanie on Instagram at: therapywithstephanie where she is sharing her recovery journey. She is a true inspiration!
This article is also featured in our 2021 Summer Issue of Sharing our Recovery
The Crash Support Network is a unique website consisting of an online support group, a Crash Survivor Blog written by a survivor, our Sharing Our Recovery Newsletter, informative articles and a Virtual Crash Memorial. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.
