An open letter to the person who hit my car.
Dear Matthew,
My name is @braininjurywise and I was the one whose car you hit 9 years ago today. I don’t remember anything about you only that you were driving a Honda Civic, and you offered that you could call your wife so she could bring a blanket for me to the crash scene. I know you lived in my neighbourhood too as you were leaving for work when you hit me. Did you go to work after the accident? I went to the hospital on a spinal board. I don’t remember you ever checking in on me. The road conditions were very icy that day, in fact they were the first icy conditions of the season. I don’t remember the impact but all signs were pointing to you driving too fast for the conditions, and when you needed to stop you couldn’t. That has happened to me too, I just luckily have never hit anyone as a result. I remember being really mad that you hit our car and when I tried to yell or speak, I couldn’t.
Do you remember today too? Do you ever think about the accident, and what ever happened to me? I think about you. I wonder what job you have, if you have kids, how your life is generally going. Do you still live in my neighbourhood or have you moved? Do you wonder about my life too? Do you believe in God, or like the universe destined this accident to happen?
My Life Was Forever Changed That Day
Well, my life was forever changed because of the accident. As a result of my brain injury, I was in bed for several months and then over 9 years have slowly managed to gain some skills back and learn how to live with my symptoms. I lost my 2 careers, lots of abilities, some friendships and lots of self -esteem. I had to deal with anxiety/depression, PTSD, fatigue, pain, sensory issues, dizziness, vision problems, speech and cognitive processing decline. I still have many of these but have had a lot of great rehabilitation professionals (and still do!) in my life over the years to help me.
While most of my symptoms are permanent, some have improved to a really manageable level. Like I used to be a triathelete, and it took me 8 years but I am now able to ride my bike around for short periods of time. Man, that was a good day. I have had some really good triumphs like that. I really wish I could tell you more about them. On the other hand, the most traumatic event about the accident was the lawsuit I launched in order to secure financing for my future/forever needs. I ended up getting about a 1/3 of what I normally would have earned at my job (which I loved incidentally). The abuse I withstood for that lawsuit by assessors and insurers has really contributed to my emotional issues but that a story for another day.
I Want You To Know How I Am Doing
The purpose of this letter is to update you as to how I’m doing. I don’t know if you care or not, but I like to think you do and haven’t completely forgotten about me. While I wasn’t expecting this change in my life, and have had some really dark times as a result, I want you to know I don’t harbor any resentment towards you. I feel it was an accident in every sense of the word. I know you didn’t choose to hit me. And I have had some really great opportunities to learn about myself that I wouldn’t have had otherwise, so, in a weird way, I thank you for that. I often feel gratitude that I survived, and have developed a creative flow to help me with my trauma and grief. It would be nice to be able to show you some of my artwork. Anyway, I know our lives have been inextricably intertwined for life. I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you today, and hope you are thinking of me.
@braininjurywise
For more information on Brain Injury Wise please visit: braininjurywise.com and we also encourage you to follow their story on instagram at Brain Injury Wise.
This article is also featured in our 2023 Winter Issue of Sharing our Recovery.
