In a blink of an eye, my life was forever changed due to a crash on April 18, 2018. Today makes exactly a year. I don’t even know exactly what to say. I’m still recovering to this day. I still have permanent nerve damage in my jaw not allowing me to feel my left side of my lip, chin, and lower jaw area that will never come back. I still have to drink out of a straw to this day so I don’t spill all over myself. When I eat something for too long that requires a lot of chewing, my jaw gives me so much pain. When I smile I see how it’s a little off because my lip droops, or my teeth that are now crooked after I had braces for 2 years. If I stand for more than 10 minutes my leg starts to ache, my neck and my back where I broke them still hurts constantly. My knee gives out on me on the regular.
Everyday I see the ugly horrible scars I have from whatever cut me up everywhere, the seatbelt, the huge scar on my tongue from biting it in half. My hand that I broke still cramps up and causes extreme pain while driving when I grip the steering wheel hard. Which I do every time I drive because I now suffer from PTSD. I can’t help but constantly suffer from anxiety when sitting in a car or tensing up while someone else is driving. Flinching automatically every time a car passes by or when I pass an accident while driving. The flashbacks I get and the deep ache I feel for the people involved because I know exactly what they will be going through.
It Has Not Been Easy
I fight off panic attacks every day. My life was forever changed this year but many values were learned. A big thank you to everyone who has been by my side since day one. It has not been easy, still isn’t and will ever be. But I hope as each year passes, I heal a little more. I pray the family that lost their loved one heals as well. I have no idea why God decided to keep me here but I am thankful I made it another year. This is now an anniversary I get to celebrate as my second chance that was given to me and I am trying with everything in me to make this life the best I can because a lot of people weren’t as lucky as me to survive something like this.
I try to think positive and not negative in the situation. I’ve gotten stronger, wiser and I’m able to use the pain and experience to help others that have been through this. I hope one day in the future I truly make a difference and help survivors like myself. Big shoutout to the paramedics and EMT etc. that were there to help me this day and to the amazing team of doctors, surgeons and nurses I had taking care of me while in PCU.
The next step in healing is telling the story and accepting it. I’m accepting all the love and high hopes today. Car accidents aren’t just “oh it was just a car accident” as my life was forever changed. People’s lives are lost, changed and effected in SO many ways when it comes to being an MVA survivor. PTSD is real. Trauma is real. Be considerate to those people and treat them kindly. As you should all people. Here’s to one year more I was given of life.
Submitted by Kaelin
Kaelin lives in Riverside California and is a member of our online support group. We thank her for sharing her courageous story and we wish her continued healing throughout her recovery.
Are you interested in sharing your story? We want to hear from you! Send us an email at: info@crashsupportnetwork.com and it may be published on our website or in our quarterly newsletter.
The Crash Support Network is a unique website consisting of an online support group, a Crash Survivor Blog written by a survivor, our Sharing Our Recovery Newsletter, informative articles and a Virtual Crash Memorial. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.
