It’s okay to not want to celebrate the holidays and you are not alone. As a crash survivor, you will be feeling worn out, overwhelmed and anxious as you try to recover physically and financially while dreading the festive season. There’s something about the holiday season that makes it feel almost impossible to opt out. It’s everywhere. You can’t be anywhere without the reminder that “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”’ which of course isn’t what you want to hear as you recover from a devastating motor vehicle crash because for you, it really isn’t feeling wonderful.
The Struggles Are Real
When you are struggling as a crash survivor, the prospect of dealing with holidays can feel utterly impossible. The rituals, the traditions, the shopping, the cooking, the music, the decorations, the cards, the family and the parties. Not to mention it gets dark really early now and depending where you live, perhaps freezing cold with snow. The longer nights, the light deprivation and the crappy weather can cause emotional and physical reactions that make you feel even worse.
I especially hate sudden changes in weather because after seven years, I have yet to figure out what type of weather intensifies my pain level. Is my pain worse when it is too cold, too warm, too hot, low humidity, high humidity, rain, dampness or the barometric pressure? Which is it? Within the last two weeks, extreme pain days have hit me and they have hit me hard. I would like to think it is because my body is trying to adjust to the cold weather and when these days hit me, I like to call them my “truck days”. When I have an extremely high intense pain day everything shuts down. I can usually feel it coming on a couple of days in advance and although I try my best to fight it, I usually have to give in and lie down.
It sucks. Its disruptive. No one notices. On days like this, I let the pain win because I have no choice. It’s frustrating because I am not suppose to be feeling this way and I will admit, these are the days that I wish I had the chance to age naturally. It is okay to not want to celebrate the holidays. You need to give yourself permission to drastically cut back on holiday preparations, to feel emotions other than joy and happiness and permission to gently but firmly say “no” to family and friends. Remember that you are recovering and “you” come first. Surviving a motor vehicle crash affects your body, mind and personality. You are fragile and you need to keep this in mind during the holiday season.
Feeling of Loss During the Holidays
There are lots of crash survivors feeling the same as you this year. Trust me, I am one of them and you are not alone. I am super sensitive now and notice everything. My feelings are constantly hurt especially when I feel like I have been left out of something or I cannot think clearly. I wrote a blog entitled “Feeling of Loss While Recovering at Christmas” as my motor vehicle crash happened a month before the holidays and I remember how devastating it was for me.
Crash survivors are usually hard to spot because we are the ones keeping quiet and hiding as we put on a brave face while we do the best we can. Don’t dwell on the fact that it’s Christmas. It is, after all, just another day and it will pass and it won’t be long before it will fade into just a distant memory. It will be tough and it might not be what you hoped for but it is temporary and there is an end in sight. Don’t set yourself up with any expectations as you might surprise yourself and experience some uplifting moments. I am not sure if you noticed but, for better or worse, the holidays roll around every year. Acknowledge that this year has been a particularly rough year and that it is okay to not want to celebrate the holidays. Next year you may feel different and that is absolutely okay too.
Having a strong support system played an important role in my recovery but not everyone is as fortunate and that concerns me. Our Online Support Group hold space for you to vent, to feel heard, valued and understood. With 1200 +members, we welcome you to join us. We are always here for you even throughout the holidays. I also invite you to read “Festive Celebrations as a Crash Survivor” which includes some great tips to get you through this festive season.
Wishing every crash survivor continued healing and strength throughout this holiday season. We understand and it’s okay not to want to celebrate the holidays. The Crash Support Network is always here for you.
S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever. Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories. Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.
