My life changed in a moment. While returning from taking my son and his friend to school, a car crashed into my SUV, causing it to roll. It took the Jaws of Life to remove me from the vehicle, and I remember nothing. When I woke up in the hospital, I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t recognize my son or have any knowledge of current events. Who was the President? It was more like what is a President? I had suffered a traumatic brain injury, which left me with retrograde and anterograde amnesia. My past was totally gone. Doctors told me that my condition was the best it would ever be. A therapist later told me to think of it as if I were a newborn, learning everything from scratch.
Basic Activities Were Confusing
Life didn’t get easier after being released from the hospital. Day-to-day activities were confusing. Basics like dirty dishes going in the dishwasher and clothes being inside the closet were new concepts. Meanwhile, I had my youngest child, a thirteen-year-old son, to raise. I was trying to learn the duties required of a mother in addition to the basics of functioning at home and in society, and it felt overwhelming. One day, I burned cookies when the kitchen timer in my pocket went off… while I was standing in line at the post office. But give up? Never!
My motor skills were impaired, so I was constantly running into doorways. I thought, “I must be huge!” In reality, I wasn’t going through the center of the doorway like I thought I was. I had little feeling on my left side, so there were confusing signals from my brain to my body parts. Pain was ever-present. The rest of my life will always include chiropractic, physical therapy, therapeutic massage, doctors, and believing in my instincts.
Volunteering To Find My Way
My life changed in a moment and prior to the accident, I ran my own consulting firm specializing in accounting and database management. Returning to consulting was not an option; I would have no idea how to help my clients. In fact, trying to relearn even simple math was a challenge because I couldn’t remember the number four—a common problem with my type of brain injury. I began volunteering for my local hospital’s auxiliary, editing the newsletter and raising money. Volunteering helped me learn what functions I was good at and which activities I wasn’t able to do.
Friends encouraged me to enroll at Claremont Graduate University, where I earned a certificate in leadership. After lots of hard work, and with the help of patient professors and student-led study groups, I earned my master’s degree in management with honors. While at the university, I became a student of Peter F. Drucker, the prominent author and educator. I was fortunate to become friends with him and his wife Doris. They encouraged and inspired me.
Sculpting My Own Personality
While earning my master’s degree, I became director of the MBA program at the Peter F. Drucker School of Management. I found my rhythm as a productive, effective team member—bringing alumni, staff, students, and Professor Drucker together for the enrichment of all. At some point during my journey, I decided to sculpt a personality for myself because I couldn’t remember my character traits from before the accident. Based on observing others, I realized that if I became known as a happy person, people would want to be around me. From then on, becoming happy in spite of my circumstances was my mission. It became what I call my “happiness project.”
As I focused on being happy, the key was to not dwell on the negative aspects of my life. For example, I made a conscious decision not to lament the absence of special memories, like giving birth to my children. Instead, I concentrated on the present. I also became determined not to let setbacks destroy my happiness. When I was involved in a second car crash, I suffered another brain injury. It happened as I was finishing my master’s degree, and schoolwork was much harder after this second injury. But I decided that happiness is a choice, and I just needed to make a conscious effort to stay positive.
Successful Outcomes
In recent years, I have become focused on speaking, writing, and coaching, to empower people to break through self-imposed barriers, implement new strategies, and achieve successful outcomes, just as I have. I have founded a non-profit organization (www.tbibridge.org) that provides resources for survivors of traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. My motto is “Believe. Be patient. Never give up!”
Although my life changed in a moment, my life now is rich with close friends, family, and activities I enjoy, in addition to my non-profit work. I don’t know what my life was like before the accident, but all that matters is that I’m happy now. Attitude truly is everything!
Submitted by Celeste Palmer
Celeste is the Founder of Bridging the Gap and perseveres in her quest to find help and answers for all people living with traumatic brain injuries. For more information on Bridging the Gap please visit: www.tbibridge.org. Celeste is also a member of our Crash Support Network Group and we thank her for sharing her inspirational story with us.
This story is also featured in our 2020 Spring Issue of Sharing Our Recovery.
The Crash Support Network is a unique website consisting of an online support group, a Crash Survivor Blog written by a survivor, our Sharing Our Recovery Newsletter, informative articles and a Virtual Crash Memorial. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.
Are you a crash survivor and are interested in sharing your story? Please email us at info@crashsupportnetwork.com.
