Mom was 89 when she passed away and she never had a driver’s license. Born in 1932, things were certainly different back then. Although my mom didn’t drive and never had any interest in getting behind the wheel of a vehicle, as kids, we certainly didn’t miss out on the many adventures we had. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” is what she used to always say.
So Many Fun Memories
Of course, back then you couldn’t pick up your cell phone to order an uber but there were lots of trains, streetcars and busses available at our disposal. When the GO Train was first launched, we were one of the first families to ride to the City of Toronto on it. From fun times at the Canadian Exhibition, Ontario Place, events and parades taking place in the big city, mom would always get us there without relying on a car. Mom also loved to walk and boy could she walk! As a child I have fond memories of mom taking us out for a walk and I would always find myself asking her “how many more blocks mom?” And she would always respond with a smile and say, “oh just a few more dear…you can do it”.
Although I never quite knew why mom didn’t want to get her license, my father had his and she certainly didn’t discourage any of us for getting ours. I was a late bloomer and didn’t get my license until I was 25 and when I look back, I was very much like my mother and managed to get around just fine before I got my license. Even when I was involved in my horrific motor vehicle crash, it took me several months to get behind the wheel of a vehicle again because getting back to driving takes time. Read more here about how Driver Rehabilitation Can Be Beneficial.
Nothing Can Prepare You
Unfortunately, mom passed away very suddenly in 2021 and I still cannot believe she is gone. The night before she passed, she had suffered a heart attack and I didn’t find out until the next day on the way to the hospital when I discovered she was admitted to intensive care. Complications post-surgery and certainly not the kind of news you want to find out when you arrive at a hospital. They say nothing can prepare you for that kind of news and they are right. I even wrote a blog “When Your Loved One is Admitted to Intensive Care” where I share some tips to keep in mind on how important it is to communicate with your family and share updates especially when there may not be a mutual agreement for one child to take full control on your parent’s care.
When mom was in the hospital, only two visitors were allowed to see her every day which made it quite difficult and they were dominated by other family members, however I am grateful that it wasn’t a year prior or she may have been left all alone due to the pandemic. Some of the last words mom said to me were how kind and patient I was. I also remember speaking with mom the night before she was hospitalized and she shared how uneasy she felt about going to a scheduled ultrasound appointment the next day and wanted to cancel. Never did I think that she would be taken away to a hospital several miles from her home the next day. Hearing fear, confusion and the vulnerability in her voice when she called me from the hospital that first day telling me she wanted to come home was truly gut wrenching. She didn’t even know where she was. If only….
I will never know how she was feeling that evening but I can only hope that someone put on her favourite television show or her favourite 50’s music and if not, I hope she was surrounded by peace and not hysteria or chaos as all she wanted to do was be in a quiet place.
A month after mom passed, I witnessed a truly remarkable sight on September 16th when I happened to look outside and witness a beautiful rainbow centered right in the middle of our back window. A sight I will never forget. Thank you mom!
Life is full of moments and when we think about how things should have been different, just as when we are involved in a life-changing motor vehicle crash, unfortunately we cannot turn back the clock and as hard as it is, we must find a way to move forward.
Happy Birthday Mom
Today is my mom’s birthday and she would have been 90 years old. Each year, I would bring her a fresh beautiful bouquet of flowers to acknowledge her day and she loved it.
She used to always remind me, “please don’t bring me flowers to my grave as I would rather have them now so I can enjoy them.”
Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer when she was 66 and had to attend daily radiation treatments at a downtown hospital for 6 weeks. At the beginning, she was driven to her appointments to see how she would react to the treatments and after she felt she was okay, within a week she was taking the train downtown on her own until the treatments ended. Again, mom proving to us just how independent she was.
Over the years, I have supported the Canadian Cancer Society and bought her so many pink items and clothing that she wore proudly each time I saw her. Whether it was a pin, a sweatshirt or even a pink jacket, she would always point it out to me with a big smile.
Well mom, I picked up a beautiful bouquet of flowers today just like I did for you every year and I will admire them in a vase as I think about you today. I also wore pink today to celebrate and honour your memory as you were truly one of the strongest people I knew.
May you rest peacefully and know that your daughter thinks of you every day.
Happy Birthday Mom xx oo
S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever. Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories. Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.
The Crash Support Network is a unique one-of-a-kind website consisting of an online support group, a crash survivor blog, a quarterly newsletter, “Sharing Our Recovery” as well as highly informative articles. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.
