The secret to recover from a crash is surviving it in any way you can. Now I know what you may be thinking, “Really? Is this the advice you’re giving me?” My answer is yes!

Here’s the thing, just like your motor vehicle crash itself, it’s unpredictable. It’s never just about recovering from your physical injuries as there is so much more to conquer on your journey.  Countless medical appointments, legal battles and dealing with insurance issues never seem to end and it becomes your “new way of life”. You may feel okay one day but then you may feel so overwhelmed the next that you may not want to even get out of bed. You will wonder if it will ever let up. At best it can be described as a roller coaster ride you never wanted to go on and have no idea when and if it will ever end.

Allow Yourself Enough Self Care

On the bad days, do whatever it takes to hang in there and keep fighting. To you this may mean that you allow yourself to stay in bed or binge watch Netflix until the good days arrive where you can try to get back to a normal life that you desperately want. To others it may mean eating chocolate cake for breakfast because you have already put on so much weight from being immobile that you find yourself saying “what’s an extra few pounds going to hurt?” For most crash survivors, it’s needing to keep saying, “Sorry, I am not able to come,” to their friends and loved ones. The problem that so many survivors face is that we feel defeated and do not allow ourselves enough self-care we need to make it through the worst of times. We start to believe that we are a bad mom or dad, wife or friend – and that we are lazy, or we are not trying hard enough. We are being told that we need to get over it.

But Here’s The Thing –

These thoughts or comments are not doing you any good. They are making the battle you are already fighting that much worse and you still require the need to survive in any way you can. I can’t tell you how many countless days and sleepless nights I have spent feeling sorry for myself. I don’t remember the exact date when I realized I had to begin the process of acceptance.  Neither I, nor you, chose this but it is what it is. These are the cards that we were dealt and you have to decide how to make the best hand of it and it’s not easy.

Although my roller coaster ride may have partially slowed down, I still fight the recovery battle every single day. I have to remind myself that while I cannot control how my injuries have affected my body, I can choose how it affects my mind. The difference between the “me now” and the “me at the start of my recovery” is that I am allowing myself to survive in any way I can and that is the secret to recover from a crash. I allow myself self care and compassion as well as love. I am doing my absolute best while I face such a challenging journey and I try to surround myself with people that understand.

Dear Crash Survivor:

I think its brave that you push away the waves rolling in everyday and decide to fight another day.
I know it’s hard. I am a crash survivor too.
I understand exactly what you are going through.
I have sleep issues too.
I am tired of medical appointments just as much as you.
I have lost friends just like you.
I am tired of dealing with insurance companies too.
I also stop in my tracks when I hear or see another motor vehicle crash.
Just like you, I also live with chronic pain.
I also felt alone.
I have flashbacks and the “what if’s” too.
I am not the same person I was before my crash either.
I am also worried about finances. 
My head also hurts.
I get it!

– BUT –

Getting back into a vehicle will get easier.
Your legal battles will come to an end.
The “what if’s” will lessen in time.
You will get off the roller coaster.
You do get better.
You are not alone.
You will laugh and you will smile.
You will love yourself again.
You will even have a lot of great days.
But the scars are still there.
The pain is still there.
You just learn to live with it just the way you are.

Now you may be asking me “When will this happen”?  You just do it. You force yourself to put one foot in front of the other. You refuse to let it get to you.  Although no two recoveries are ever the same, I want you to know that I continue to live it everyday and it’s still a work in progress. Remember that the secret to recover from a crash is surviving it in any way you can. If I hadn’t continued to remain strong, I wouldn’t have met so many brave crash survivors in our Online Support Group. Please be kind to yourself as you are doing the best you can.

S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever.  Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories.  Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.

The Crash Support Network is a unique one-of-a-kind website consisting of an online support group, a crash survivor blog, a quarterly newsletter, “Sharing Our Recovery” as well as highly informative articles. Our website is based on relationship-building and puts the needs of survivors first by creating a helpful resource for victims and survivors of motor vehicle crashes.