When you find yourself alone in distress it can be extremely frightening. Recently I noticed a woman basking in a hot tub enjoying every moment until she decided it was time to get out. I have seen this woman before and although she is very friendly and walks with a cane for support, it was clear to me that walking was not an easy task for her. As she managed to get out of the hot tub and was starting to walk away, she stopped dead in her tracks and yelled out for help.
I immediately jumped up to assist her as she was clearly alone and in distress. She whispered that she was not feeling well and asked me to help her to a chair so she could sit down and catch her breath. As I got her to a chair, she managed to sit down with her water bottle and I asked her long how long she had been in the hot tub. She seemed confused and admitted that she could not remember and mentioned that time seemed to have passed by rather quickly. I could tell by the colour of her face, that there was a possibility that she could have easily fainted so I tried my best to keep her as comfortable as possible and I asked her if I could call someone for her but she told me she just needed a few minutes to retain herself.
Crash Survivors Have a Special Bond
As I sat beside her and gave her the space she needed, she began to sob uncontrollably. She started to explain to me that she was involved in a major car crash in 2012 and that she suffered numerous injuries. Bam! The words literally hit me like a ton of bricks as she was part of my Circle! She then proceeded to tell me that she was rear-ended and her life had not been the same ever since. At that point, I told her I was a crash survivor too and I had her full attention. She was clearly distraught and admitted that she wasn’t sure why she had survived and proceeded to tell me that she wished she hadn’t. I could sense that she had been keeping a lot to herself for days, months or even years and as I sat beside her in silence, she continued to vent her frustrations and let her tears flow. Although it was heart breaking, I was so thankful that I was there to offer her some support that she desperately needed. I completely understood how she was feeling as I am not only a crash survivor but I also offer support on a daily basis within our Online Support Group.
When the tears stopped, we were able to add some humour to the whole situation and found ourselves giggling as we compared stories and scars. Never did I ever think I would see the day that I would be so proud to show off my scar as if it were a contest. Once she started to feel better and could think more clearly, she admitted that she had lost track of time and we came to the conclusion that she may have stayed in the hot tub far longer than she should have. As the colour returned to her face, she kept apologizing for being an inconvenience and she was clearly embarrassed. I re-assured her that there was absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about and that I was just glad I was there to help. As we gathered up her belongings and made sure that she was going to get home safely, I wished her the best and told her about the Crash Support Network in hopes that she will reach out to us in the near future as it was clear to me she was in desperate need of support. She couldn’t thank me enough!
When No One Is Clapping You Must Clap For Yourself
As I left her that day, I found myself thinking about her for hours. This strong woman was determined to make it to the hot tub by herself for some much needed relief from her pain and she certainty didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. My motor vehicle crash was 7 years ago which coincidentally was the same year as this woman’s crash and I still have extremely bad days. As a crash survivor, I know that every day can feel like an eternity and some days you may feel like you are going backwards. A few months ago I wrote a blog entitled 15 Things Only a Crash Survivor Can Tell You where I explain that surviving a motor vehicle crash is one the hardest journeys you will face and when no one is clapping for you that you must clap for yourself. Although my roller coaster ride may have partially slowed down, I still fight the recovery battle each and every day. The difference between the “me now” and the “me at the start of my recovery” is that I am allowing myself to survive in any way I can and that is the secret to recover from a crash.
Finding yourself alone in distress while in a hot tub can be a frightening experience and it is easy to loose track of time because you are feeling super relaxed. Always keep in mind that when you are immersed in hot water such as a hot tub, the volume of blood in your chest cavity and in your heart increases dramatically. Your heart’s ability to pump blood goes up, while at the same time, your heart rate goes down so it is important to keep track of time or to set the hot tub on a timer if you can. A good rule of thumb is consulting with your doctor before using a hot tub regularly especially if you are recovering from a motor vehicle crash that may have left you with multiple injuries.
We are thinking of every crash survivor making progress that no one may have recognized because you never let anyone see your darkest moments. If you have been silently battling, winning and transforming yourself, be proud of every little step you are making in the right direction. Keep going. You got this!
S. Dawne McKay is a survivor of a horrific crash that changed her life forever. Dawne shares her personal journey as a Crash Survivor Blogger and also collaborates with crash survivors as Guest Bloggers allowing them an opportunity to share their stories. Dawne is also the author of the book, “Talk Crash to Me – What to Expect After Surviving a Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery” which is available for purchase on Amazon.
